Monday, November 22, 2010
What In The World?!?!? (chapter 23)
Ok monster you can come out now, you can get me out of my paranoid state, so that me and Elizabeth can enjoy our marriage. Ugh, I am just going to search the house. I was searching the house and out of no where I hear Elizabeth scream. I realize he was not going to kill me, he was going to kill the people I love! With my grief over Elizabeth's death, I go home to my father and tell him the news. Shocked by the death of my barely married wife, he dies a couple of days later. It was time I tell my horrid secret and I try to convince the magistrate that the monster killed my wife, and he doesn't believe me! So I vow to devote the rest of my life to find and destroy the monster, for all the pain he has caused me. For the deaths of Elizabeth, William, Justine, and my father, I will destroy him!
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I love that you have all these emotions that you are portraying through Victor, but I got lost somewhat throughout them. Try to elaborate more on what you are trying to achieve so that the transition from one scene to the other does not confuse your reader. Other than that, you portrayed Victor perfectly.
ReplyDeleteI agree you did portray victor perfectly. You took on his emotions and his possible actions. You have done a fabulous job of getting into character and figuring out what the real Victor would have done. You have done a great job.
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